I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
