all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
