miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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