Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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