Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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