Pappa wants mamma naked
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
