Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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