I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
