I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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