So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
COCAINE IS GR8
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
