Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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