just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
