I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
