i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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