he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
