he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There's always time for handjobs
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
