I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
