How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
