Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
