and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
