Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
porn star boner night. come get it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
