Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
