hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
