Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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