People with herpes should wear stickers.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
