Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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