your room smells of hookers.
And success
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
