I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize