Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
