And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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