I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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