Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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