the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
