...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
