This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
