Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
