fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
