By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
