why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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