But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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