I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
