thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
