dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I didn't shave. On purpose
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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