for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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