Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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