so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
