Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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