I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
