Don't you send me to vm
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
