we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
