I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
