The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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