the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
