You work out of a Hotel?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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