The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
